BLEACH Anime BLOOPERS

Bleach Episode 1: Death and Strawberry

*Ichigo is lying on his bed like any normal brooding teenager, staring mindlessly at the wall. Suddenly, a butterfly flies past his face.*

Ichigo: A black swallowtail butterfly? How'd it—

...

Ichigo:...?

*BANG BANG BANG*

Rukia: ICHIGO! OPEN UP THE WALL, YOU IDIOT, I CAN'T GET INSIDE!!

Ichigo: Wtf Rukia, you're supposed fly through it!! You're a freakin' ghost!!

Rukia: Oh!...Sorry, let's do that again...

*Ichigo lies back down while the film crew bottle the butterfly for the re-take*

Ichigo: Jeez, I ain't getting paid enough...


Bleach Episode 165: Ichigo vs Grimmjow.

*Grimmjow attacks*

Grimmjow: I AM...!!

Ichigo: *tenses up* ?!

Grimmjow:..... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM! SOMEONE TELL ME BEFORE I SCREW UP AGAIN!!

Ichigo: ROFL XD


Bleach Episode 112: Hiyori's Debut.

*Shinji Hirako walks back from school, annoyed.*

Shinji: Jeez, the teachers're frickin' sadists...summer homework?! Damn, why do I have'ta be the one to go to school and recruit Ichigo...? It's not—

*Suddenly, he is given the most epic kick up the backside and slams into the nearby lamppost*

*He collapses to the floor*

*Hiyori stands several paces away in all her bratty demonic glory*

Hiyori:...Shinji?

*No answer*

Hiyori: ....Shit, he's out cold...Someone get medics, I'm gonna be in ma trailer, 'Hollows Do the Darndest Things' is startin'!

*She bolts off set while the medics tend to her first victim of violent anger-therapy.*


Bleach Episode 116: Yammy and Ulquiorra's Debut.</b>

*Massive explosion. Ulquiorra and Yammy are revealed in all their badass (excluding Yammy) Hollow awesomeness.*

Yammy: Ha! I'm been down here loadsa' times in a mask, but...

...

Ulquiorra: *sigh*...

Yammy: Goddamnit, I'll do the line again...what's the line?

*Offscreen babble*

Yammy: Right, ok...Let's do this!!

Director: 3, 2, 1—And, ACTION!

*Massive explosion, etc.*

Yammy: Ha! I've been down here........DAMN!!!

Ulquiorra: Oh for goodness' sake...

Yammy: Hey, I'm tryin! The line's too damned long...

Ulquiorra: *addressing  the film crew* Can someone please shorten the line before I kill this guy? Thank you.

Yammy: Hey! Just 'cuz you're smart—

Ulquiorra: Exactly. Because I'm smart. Now finish your line or you're going to make your exit the painful way.

Yammy: Fine. Right. Ok, let's go. I'm gonna do it this time.

Ulquiorra: *under his breath* Oh, you'd better...

*Explosion...*

Yammy: Ha!....

Ulquiorra: ....

Film crew: .....

Yammy: NOOOOO!!!!

Ulquiorra: *losing it* SOMEBODY KILL HIM!!! PLEASE!! RIGHT NOW!! I'M GOING TO GO INSANE!!!

Director: Sorry, Mr Shiffer, but he's on contract. We can't kill him until his role's over.

Ulquiorra: *composing himself* Right, that's it, I'm going to sit down somewhere, have some tea (the British kind), and calm down...

*He walks off the smoking set*

*Orihime runs after him*

Orihime: Oh, Ulquiorra-kun...!

Ulquiorra: *offscreen* That's 'Mr Shiffer' to you.

Ichigo: *walking after them* Jeez, dude, we're off set now, let's all love each other, huh?

Ulquiorra: *offscreen, jokingly* Love is for pussies.

Ichigo, Orihime, and Crew: *laughing*

Ulquiorra: *smirking as the camera zooms in on him* It is. I mean it...


Bleach Episode 292: Aizen Transforms.

*Aizen reveals his butterfly form and spreads his arms out in exultation, triumphant in his impending victory...*

Aizen: AS THE SON OF GOD...!!

*Everyone, even a stabbed Gin, laugh their heads off*

Aizen: Sorry, I couldn't resist...


Bleach Episode 17...something: Szayel Eats his Fracción Lumina.

Szayel: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

Renji + Uryuu: LMAO OMG LOL!!! XD

Szayel: Ha, sorry everyone—I'll be serious now...

*ACTION!*

*In the middle of eating, Szayel spits the body out, coughing and trying to pour some odd-looking disinfectant lotion on his tongue*

Szayel: Ugh...Ahh...Eww...*cough* What...what the hell did you guys make this thing out of?!...

Crew: Jelly. Pink jelly.

Szayel: WTF, YOU KNOW I HATE THAT!!! MY TONGUE IS VIOLATED FOREVER!!! T_T

Crew: Ya, we know. It increases your insane look while you nom Lumina.

Szayel: YOU'RE ALL SADISTS!! T_T

Crew: Lol, says you.


Bleach Omake Blooper

*This was supposed to be the omake in which Ichigo demands Ulquiorra battle him and Ulquiorra refuses on the grounds of the studio executives not allowing them, but unfortunately both forgot their lines and decided to improvise.*

*Ichigo confronts Ulquiorra drinking tea in the middle of a corridor. Very strange place to drink tea, but then Ulquiorra makes drinking tea epic wherever he drinks it. That is why he is epic.

*...Moving on.*


Ichigo: Hey, Ulquiorra! Let's do this!!

Ulquiorra: Do what?

Ichigo: Our battle!! The battle to end all battles! The candy all the fandom has been screaming for god knows how long we've tried to block them out with—

Ulquiorra: Ahem, yes, thank you. I'm aware.

Ichigo: *with eager puppy-dog eyes* So...?

Ulquiorra: It's not happening.

Ichigo: *crushed*....WHAT?!

Ulquiorra: Has the fame damaged your hearing? I said, no. Or, in your Youth Speak—*puts on Rapper accent* It ain't happenin', dawg.

Ichigo:....O.O;; Where the hell'd you get that line from?!

Ulquiorra: The soups.

Ichigo: You watch soups?!

Ulquiorra: Whatever's on first, I watch.

Ichigo: Even porn?

Ulquiorra: That too. I can't understand the physics behind it, but that's just me.

Ichigo: PHY—???....Whatever!!  C'mon, please, just once, let's beat the crap outta each other!

Ulquiorra: No.

Ichigo: Please?! For the fans!

Ulquiorra: The fans are evil. They pair me with whores.

Ichigo: *aghast* You're calling Grimmjow a whore?!

Ulquiorra: And the woman too.

Ichigo: It doesn't—!! Aaah, c'mon!! Pleeeease!

Ulquiorra: No.

Ichigo: For me?!

Ulquiorra: What on earth made you think that I'd do anything for you?

Ichigo:...Hope?

Ulquiorra: Hope is for pussies.

Ichigo: YOU KEEP SAYING THAT!!

Ulquiorra: Because it's true.

*Ichigo is now at the end of his wits*

Ichigo: *trying to control himself* Ok, ok, FINE. What do you want me to do?

*Ulquiorra, holding the tea-cup aloft, looks at Ichigo with that pointed, deadly-serious side-upways glance that says: 'What do you think, punk?'*

*Ichigo stares for a moment before getting the message in that skull so thick it would make Fort Knox look like a kiddie gate.*

Ichigo:...Oh, you're kidding!

*Ulquiorra continues to stare, and shakes his head ever so slightly.*

Ichigo: *massive sigh* Aw...I frickin' hate you.

*Ulquiorra motions to the floor with his eyes.*

Ichigo: Arrgh...Fine, fine...

*Our hero then gets down on his hands and knees before the chair Ulquiorra is sitting on, and bows his head to the floor.*

Ichigo: I, Kurosaki Ichigo...implore you, Ulquiorra Shiffer, 4th Espada of Sousuke Aizen's army...to do me the honour of battling with myself until one of us is no more...Will you...

*He looks up, and stares.*

*Ulquiorra is nowhere to be seen.*

Ichigo: Uh...Ulquiorra?

*Ichigo peers over the surface of the table Ulquiorra had previously been sitting at, and stares.*

*Ulquiorra is standing far away, staring at him questioningly while readying his sword.*

Ulquiorra: Just how long do you plan on crawling around on the floor like a child, Kurosaki Ichigo? We have a battle to commence.

*Ichigo now realises he's been royally rick-rolled.*

Ichigo: I F*CKIN HATE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Ulquiorra: *with a straight face* Ah...I love this job.


Bleach Episode 167: Ichigo vs Grimmjow—Again.

*In the middle of the intense fight—Hollow Ichi and Pantie Grimmjow, suddenly a massive thing shoots out between them. They look down, and Nnoitra stands far below them on the ground, with Santa Teresa plummeting down beside him, having missed its target.*

Grimmjow: WTF, NNOITRA, IT AIN'T YOUR SCENE YET!!

Nnoitra: *can't hear* WHAT?!

Grimmjow: I SAID, F*CK OFF, IT AIN'T YOUR SCENE YET!!

Nnoitra: ....WHAT?!!!

Ichigo: DO YOUR EARS HAVE HOLES TOO?! YOU. NOT. NEEDED. YOU. GO. F*CK. YOURSELF!!!!

Nnoitra:....Oh....MY BAD—IMMA GO GET SOME COFFEE AND EAT OFF TELSA, YOU GUYS CARRY ON!

*He walks off, leaving the two opponents standing very awkwardly in mid air and mid attack at the same time. *


NNOITRA'S INTERRUPTION CONTINUED:

Ichigo: WAIT—EAT 'OFF' HIM?!

Nnoitra: YEAH, WHY SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON TABLES WHEN I HAVE A SERVANT STANDING AROUND DOING JACK SHIT?!

Grimmjow: TRUE DAT!!

Ichigo: O.O;;  YOU GUYS'RE NUTS!!

Nnoitra: YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST WE HAVE 'EM! OOOOOOOOOH!!!

Grimmjow: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!

Ichigo:  ......Y'know, it's a good thing you guy's're gay or else I'd've owned both your  asses right then.

Grimmjow+Nnoitra: WHAT?!!! O.O;;;

Ichigo: Heh...Gotcha.

Director: AND, CUT!! You guys were shit! Do it again, and don't mess up....

Cast: Yessir...*sh'yeah right...XD*


*
TO BE CONTINUED...