ENVY'S LETTERS: KYUUBIRAWRZ 2

(My apologies for a double-post as I've posted this on ff.net as well.)

Dear Envy:

...You have _no_ idea how weird that freaking sounds. I mean, let's face it, it's not everyday you're talking to another version of yourself. Seriously, it's weird. Anyway, onto the point of this- I realize, having read your story, that you've been through a fair amount of crap (as have I- and you'll excuse my language), but how in the heck are you so _civil_?! And killing only _one_ person? That's a feat my friend. Then again, you never had to deal with Dante- the evil, psychotic, egotistical, self-centered, tyrannical wi-... Yeah, stopping right there before I say something you probably don't want your chibi hearing or reading.

Speaking of which, that's another thing: you have a chibi with you, and right now you say you're residing with the Fullmetal Pipsqueak that I know and enjoy tormenting the hell out of. Here's a question: Do you ever get the feeling that you're looking at older and younger versions of the same person? Or do they strike you as different enough that there's no confusion between Ed versus Edward? (Assuming you've chosen to differentiate them that way. That's the most sensible way that occurs to me, unless you resort to my standbys- Pipsqueak and Mini-Chibi.) Also, do you ever run into the entertaining situation of saying 'Ed' or 'Edward' and have them both react? Quite frankly the idea strikes me as a dumbly entertaining one- the sort that would prompt a giggle-fit if you were sleep-deprived for several days. Yes, that's from personal experience.

Here's another thing that caught my attention: throughout the entire time you were trapped your free will didn't seem limited (I'll explain in a moment), and you were that worm... ish.. thing. Yeah, as I'm certain you can guess, I never had that form. Then again I'm 'technically' related to the Runt you're rooming with. Long story. Anyway, what I meant by your free-will not being limited is this: when I was brought back from the dead my 'mother' (the evil syphlitic cow), Dante, alchemically imposed her will on me, thereby making it impossible for me to ever defy a direct order from her- which quite thoroughly sucked. There are some things I _still_ can't do (or say) no matter how much I want to simply because she's not dead yet. You on the other hand don't seem to have that problem. Granted, you've got that pretty nasty fear of the dark (which I quite thoroughly understand as that's the same way I am about being confined), but you never seem to have any instances of fighting your own body to do something you want. I've got to ask, what's it like? I've been dealing with my situation for over 400 years, so it's kind of hard to remember _not_ having to deal with it.

Then there's being the worm-thing. I've never been like that, I don't think I ever want to know what it's like being that, but having gone through that what made you so willing to be civil to your chibi? Were I in that situation I would have had _no_ patience for _anyone_, especially if they were going to free me but were waffling on actually going through with it. Then again I've never had a time where I couldn't shape-shift (well, aside from before I died), so I probably wouldn't have had as little hope. Except for when Dante has used my immobilization points against me. Not fun. I _very strongly_ recommend never letting anyone use those against you. It's worse than being in the dark or being confined simply because your body _will not_ obey you and you're stuck at everyone's mercy. Briefly going back to an earlier point, do you have any idea why you weren't able to shape-shift before Edward transmuted you? That's been bugging me since, as I stated, I've been able to shape-shift since the moment I was brought back.

Another thing I've got to say: I sincerely hope that Edward's mother _did_ waste away if she didn't improve. As I'm sure you can guess, I have a rather strong amount of sympathy for the chibi in terms of having a 'disagreeable' mother. I hate mine. Plain and simple. I'm not too particularly fond of my father either, for which I all too easily sympathize with you, but I do have to admit that he was kinder than yours. My father at least didn't abandon me until after he'd destroyed the capitol of the country in trying to bring me back- and then he had a Victor Frankenstein moment and ran away because I looked like a monster at first. Bas- Right. Screening language for the sake of Edward's young ears. Sorry if I tend to resort to ranting and cursing a great deal; I'm afraid I've got an extreme rage-case against the majority of my 'family' (if they can even be called that) due to what Dante and Hohenheim did. I'm afraid that due to my father's actions I haven't exactly been fair to my brothers, the Pipsqueak (Ed) and the Kitten-Panzer (Al), but jealousy never makes us fair. It's just a fortunate thing for you that it hasn't led to an excess of blood on your hands. Hopefully you'll never have to deal with the sort of brutality I have.

Randomly (and I apologize for my topic-jumps), what is it like having a Philosopher's Stone as your core? My own existence and capacity to heal are dependent on a mediocre version of the Stone, red-stones as we've dubbed them; so as a result I do have to worry about my capacity to heal and shape-shift being depleted and ending up severely weakened if I don't have a plentiful supply. I've always wondered if there's any distinct difference between the mediocre and the actual, so if you're so willing I would like your thoughts on this. Like you, I'm something of an academic from time to time. It's a good way to pass the time when your existence spans centuries- so I'm certain you can understand my curiosity.

All of that aside, I suspect I could keep talking with you for hours, comparing notes over our lives, but I'm certain you don't have the time for it what with keeping a certain short-one out of trouble. That being said, I sincerely wish you all the best, and I hope you get the acceptance and freedom you so rightfully deserve. Oh yes, and watch out for the Pipsqueak's cooking- it's foul. In fact I recommend never letting him anywhere near the kitchen unless you want to deal with chiseling food off the ceiling.

Sincerely,
Envy