ENVY'S LETTERS: MAI 1

Envy's Letters: Mai 1



Envy,

HOW THE HECK DID YOU FIGURE OUT A COMPUTER?!!!! OH MY GOSH! Also, YOU ARE FUNNY~!
~Mai~

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Miss Mai,

As startlingly abrupt as your letter has been, I am flattered you have chosen to send one to me! Thank you, and how do you do?

Well, let's just say I used a number of things to get my head around these damned things. Firstly, time, relaxing pills, and a book recommended to me by Edward Elric: "Computers For Dummies". I was insulted that the book insinuated I was an idiot (or 'dummy' as you kids would say), and considered throwing it back in the alchemist's face and/or burning it for its heinous insult. However, I decided to give it a chance, and, despite being mercilessly patronized by its childish contents, managed to gain reasonable knowledge of their workings in just a week. My superior intellect surprises even myself some times...


Mai,

This is Edward G. Just want to say, "Envy, stop flattering yourself, you look like a pillock!"


Envy again,

EDWARD, HOW DARE YOU! I AM A SOPHISTICATED GENTLEMAN! APOLOGIZE TO MISS MAI FOR YOUR RUDE INTERRUPTION!


Dear Pillock Envy,

No. And "sophisticated gentleman"? Says the guy who ran screaming like a little girl down the street because you picked up a toy doll in that shop the other day and it said 'Mama', thinking it was possessed by the devil!!

Edward.


Ungrateful little shorty,

IT WAS VERY DISTRESSING! HOW WAS I TO KNOW IT HAD A MACHINE INSIDE IT TO MAKE IT TALK?! And I was not screaming like a little girl! I apologize for this unfortunate development, Miss Mai, I shall have to cut short my response to deal with this pint-sized brat. I shall beat him like they did in the old days!

COME HERE YOU LITTLE FLEA-SIZED MICROSCOPIC DUST-SPAWN!!

Best regards,

Envy