ESPADA Anime Scenes PARODY
Scene 1: Ulquiorra and Ichigo meet face-to-face for the second time (prior to their first battle).
Ichigo: OMFG I GOTTA SAVE RUKIA NOWZ, I R ALMIGHTY PROTECTOR!! *starts briskly walking awayno hurry, ya know.*
Ulquiorra: Where are you going?
Ichigo: Oh, I forgot I left some doughnuts in the freezer and I'm gonna have some now WHAT DO YOU F*CKIN' THINK?!!
Ichigo: *stops* Oh, one question.
Ichigo: Why do you look so much like L from Deathnote?
Scene 2: Ulquiorra talks to Nnoitra. Only time in the whole show.
Nnoitra: Nothin'. Did pet-sama give you some sugar? *wink wink*
Ulquiorra: *stares blankly*
Nnoitra: You know...ACTION...*wink wink wink*
Ulquiorra: *keeps staring*
Nnoitra: *appears in front of Ulqui* DID YOU AND PET-SAMA HAVE HARD BISHIE SEX OR NOT???!!!
Nnoitra: *just stares, turns around, and walks away.*
*A few minutes later, he comes back, rubbing his temples.*
Nnoitra: Right. Next question: Did Aizen-sama use his sword's special ability-that-I-can't-remember-the-name of-on-pet-sama?
Ulquiorra: No. Instead--*proceeds to rant and take up about five minutes of our lives in doing so.*
Nnoitra: *after the first sentence, thinking*...Nah, sorry dude, mind's gone blankcompletely lost ya. Oh well, I'll just pretend to listen so I don't look stupid....I might get some nachos later.... Mmmm....nachos...
Ulquiorra:...Are you even listening to me?
Ulquiorra:...I'll take that as a no.
Scene 3: Nel meets Ichigo for the first time. (MADE-UP FOR THE LAWLZ)
Nel: HI! I R NEL TU! I'M GONNA BE COMIC RELIEF FOR THE NEXT TEN OR SO EPISODES UNTIL I SUDDENLY TURN INTA A HAUGHT STRIPPER WITH BOOBS THE SIZE OF SPACE-HOPPERS!
(Here is a picture of a spcae-hopper for those of you who don't know: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia…)
Ichigo: Nah, don't see that happening. Keep dreaming, tho.
Scene 4: Nnoitra first sees Orihime
Orihime: It's Orihime.
Orihime: ORIHIME YOU FREAK! *smothers him in her cleavage.*
Scene 5: Szayel Apollo meets Ishida and Renji for the first time.
Szayel: *in the most high-pitched, feminine voice known to man* HI THERE YOU SILLY LITTLE KITTIES! I'M SZAYEL APOLLO GRANZ! YOU CAN CALL ME ZAY-ZAY! I'M SO TOTALLY NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!
Ishida: O.O;...I'm so glad my mom was an asshole to me.
Renji: O.O; Same here, buddy.
Scene 6: Nnoitra and Nelliel meet again.
Nnoitra: OMG MOAR TITTEHS!
Nelliel: OMG UGLY SPOON!
Nnoi+Nell: DIE!!! *attack each other*
Scene 6: Grimmjow vs Ichigo
Grimmjow: I'M GONNA BE KING!
Ichigo: Of what? Lions??
Grimmjow: NO, ASSHOLE! YARN!!!
Grimmjow: I'M GONNA BE KING OF ALL THE YARN IN THE UNIVERSE!!
Ichigo:...I can't believe I went Hollow on this nut's ass.
Scene 7: Aaroneirro vs Rukia.
Arroneirro: I am the Noveno Espada, Aaronneirro...holy shit I can't even pronounce my last name...OUR last name...
Rukia: Wait, Aaro...Aaronneee...Aosnfujfjgjj....
Aarowhatever: OMG I HATE MY MOM!!! OUR MOM!!
Rukia: I can't believe this. I'm fighting against a crazy schizophrenic kettle-head. My creator clearly hates me.
Scene 8: Byakuya vs Zommari
Byakuya: Now I will destroy you for
Zommari: OMG, YOU RACIST MUTHERF*CKER SHIT DAYAAAM!
Zommari: OMG YOU WANNA KILL AN EVIL BLACK MAN, YOU R RACIST!
Byakuya: ...What was Kubo on when he created you? No, seriously, what?
Zommari: STERIODS AND CRACK COCAINE! Oh shit, did ah just say dat out loud?
Scene 9: Staark vs that Shinigami with the weird coat and hat.
Wierd Shinigami: -_-; What the hell is going on?
Staark: *in sleep* No....no...I don't...wanna....kitty...Grimmjow....does...just...fine....
Wierd Shinigami: O.O; *scarpers*
Scene 10: Yammy vs...lotsa people.
Yammy: IMMA FIRIN' MAH LA
People: OMG, SO IT WAS YOU WHO MADE UP THAT CATCHPHRASE! DIE, ABOMINATION!!
*Yammy is owned. Again.*