ESPADA Anime Scenes PARODY 1

ESPADA Anime Scenes PARODY



Scene 1: Ulquiorra and Ichigo meet face-to-face for the second time (prior to their first battle).

Ichigo: OMFG I GOTTA SAVE RUKIA NOWZ, I R ALMIGHTY PROTECTOR!! *starts briskly walking away—no hurry, ya know.*

Ulquiorra: Where are you going?

Ichigo:  Oh, I forgot I left some doughnuts in the freezer and I'm gonna have some now WHAT DO YOU F*CKIN' THINK?!!

Ulquiorra: Um...okay...

Ichigo:  *stops* Oh, one question.

Ulquiorra: What?

Ichigo: Why do you look so much like L from Deathnote?

Ulquiorra:...Get out.

Ichigo: But—

Ulquiorra: NOW!!

*Ichigo flees*


Scene 2:  Ulquiorra talks to Nnoitra. Only time in the whole show.

Nnoitra: BOOBS!

Ulquiorra:...what?

Nnoitra:  Nothin'. Did pet-sama give you some sugar? *wink wink*

Ulquiorra: *stares blankly*

Nnoitra: You know...ACTION...*wink wink wink*

Ulquiorra: *keeps staring*

Nnoitra: *appears  in front of Ulqui* DID YOU AND PET-SAMA HAVE HARD BISHIE SEX OR NOT???!!!

Ulquiorra:....No.

Nnoitra: *just stares, turns around, and walks away.*


*A few minutes later, he comes back, rubbing his temples.*


Nnoitra: Right. Next question: Did Aizen-sama use his sword's special ability-that-I-can't-remember-the-name of-on-pet-sama?

Ulquiorra: No. Instead--*proceeds to rant and take up about five minutes of our lives in doing so.*

Nnoitra: *after the first sentence, thinking*...Nah, sorry dude, mind's gone blank—completely lost ya. Oh well, I'll just pretend to listen so I don't look stupid....I might get some nachos later.... Mmmm....nachos...

Ulquiorra:...Are you even listening to me?

Nnoitra: NACHOES!!

*Awkward silence*

Ulquiorra:...I'll take that as a no.


Scene 3: Nel meets Ichigo for the first time. (MADE-UP FOR THE LAWLZ)

Nel: HI! I R NEL TU! I'M GONNA BE COMIC RELIEF FOR THE NEXT TEN OR SO EPISODES UNTIL I SUDDENLY TURN INTA A HAUGHT STRIPPER WITH BOOBS THE SIZE OF SPACE-HOPPERS!

(Here is a picture of a spcae-hopper for those of you who don't know: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia…)

Ichigo: Nah, don't see that happening. Keep dreaming, tho.


Scene 4: Nnoitra first sees Orihime

Nnoitra: TITTIES!!

Orihime: It's Orihime.

Nnoitra: BITCH-MELONS!!

Orihime: ORIHIME.

Nnoitra: HOOT-HOOT!!

Orihime: O-RI-HI-ME.

Nnoitra: BOW-CHIKKA-BOW-WOW!!

Orihime: ORIHIME YOU FREAK! *smothers him in her cleavage.*


Scene 5:  Szayel Apollo meets Ishida and Renji for the first time.

Szayel: *in the most high-pitched, feminine voice known to man* HI THERE YOU SILLY LITTLE KITTIES! I'M SZAYEL APOLLO GRANZ! YOU CAN CALL ME ZAY-ZAY! I'M SO TOTALLY NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!

Ishida: O.O;...I'm so glad my mom was an asshole to me.

Renji: O.O; Same here, buddy.


Scene 6: Nnoitra and Nelliel meet again.

Nnoitra: OMG MOAR TITTEHS!

Nelliel: OMG UGLY SPOON!

*silence*

Nnoi+Nell: DIE!!! *attack each other*


Scene 6: Grimmjow vs Ichigo

Grimmjow: I'M GONNA BE KING!

Ichigo: Of what? Lions??

Grimmjow: NO, ASSHOLE! YARN!!!

Ichigo: O.O

Grimmjow: I'M GONNA BE KING OF ALL THE YARN IN THE UNIVERSE!!

Ichigo:...I can't believe I went Hollow on this nut's ass.


Scene 7: Aaroneirro vs Rukia.

Arroneirro: I am the Noveno Espada, Aaronneirro...holy shit I can't even pronounce my last name...OUR last name...

Rukia: Wait, Aaro...Aaronneee...Aosnfujfjgjj....

Aaro—whatever: OMG I HATE MY MOM!!! OUR MOM!!

Rukia:  I can't believe this. I'm fighting against a crazy schizophrenic kettle-head. My creator clearly hates me.


Scene 8: Byakuya vs Zommari

Byakuya: Now I will destroy you for—

Zommari: OMG, YOU RACIST MUTHERF*CKER SHIT DAYAAAM!

Byakuya:...What?

Zommari: OMG YOU WANNA KILL AN EVIL BLACK MAN, YOU R RACIST!

Byakuya:  ...What was Kubo on when he created you? No, seriously, what?

Zommari: STERIODS AND CRACK COCAINE! Oh shit, did ah just say dat out loud?

Byakuya: ....¬_¬;


Scene 9: Staark vs that Shinigami with the weird coat and hat.

Staark: zzzzzzzzzzzz............

Wierd Shinigami: -_-; What the hell is going on?

Staark: *in sleep* No....no...I don't...wanna....kitty...Grimmjow....does...just...fine....

Wierd Shinigami: O.O; *scarpers*


Scene 10: Yammy vs...lotsa people.

Yammy: IMMA FIRIN' MAH LA—
People: OMG, SO IT WAS YOU WHO MADE UP THAT CATCHPHRASE! DIE, ABOMINATION!!

*Yammy is owned. Again.*