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July 22, 2011
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DEDICATED TO STARRK—BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES A BADASS HIPPY!


Scene 1: Introducing...

Starrk: *wakes up suddenly with a loud snort* Oh shit, what's going on?

Ulquiorra: *randomly appearing in a pink dress with fairy wings and a wand* It's your turn to do a parody. We decided to do one in your dream world, so you won't fall asleep again, because you already are. I'm here to make sure things start rolling, or else they wouldn't at all. *Huge sigh* I'm... your fairy godmother...*under his breath* I'm going to kill Gin for this...

Starrk: *processing*...Oh...*still processing* Oh! Hey, not cool, man, I thought the others were gonna theirs first!

Ulquiorra: They were, but then they decided it would be much more fun to let you get pwned first.
And also the author just wanted to get you over and done with. In her mind: I = 'awesome'. You, on the other hand  = '...Meh, not so much.'

Starrk:..'Meh'?

Ulquiorra: Yup.

Starrk: *yawns* Aww...can't this wait?

Ulquiorra: No.

Starrk: Please?

Ulquiorra: *brandishes wand* I'll cut you.

Starrk: Whoa, whoa, easy there Fairy Emo Dude...Wait a sec, what the hell?

Ulquiorra: What's the problem now?

Starrk: Why're you wearing a dress? The wings and wand I don't mind so much tho. Stylish.

Ulquiorra: You know that sugar you stirred with your tea last night?

Starrk: Uh...yeah?

Ulquiorra: It was crack.

Starrk: Oh. Dang, that's one hell of a drug.

Ulquiorra: *smacks him with the wand* No one steals my catchphrase.

Starrk: Wtf, since when?

Ulquiorra: Since I first used it in the Dodgems Incident.

Starrk: Dude, firstly—you used it ONCE—and second—THAT WAS, LIKE, FIVE MONTHS AGO—AND YOU NEVER ONCE USED IT AGAIN!

Ulquiorra:...You're point?

Starrk: To hell with this, I'm goin' to bed...*lays down and begins to snore*

Ulquiorra: No you don't! Hey! I'll...I'll...I'll take away your porn stash!

Starrk: *mumbling* I don't have a porn stash...

Ulquiorra: What are you talking about? Every Espada has a porn stash!

Starrk: Including you?

Ulquiorra: Ye—NO!

Starrk: Lol, gotcha. It's UlquiGrimm yaoi, isn't it?

Ulquiorra:  SHUT UP!! Damnit!...Ok, um...I'll...I'll put Lillynette up for adoption!

Starrk: Sure, go ahead, the kid's f*cked if she stays in this nuthouse any longer.

Ulquiorra: What?! Right, you leave me no choice...If you don't get off your crack-inhaling ass, I'll...I'll take away Mr. Pinky the teddy!!

Starrk: *shoots up like a bullet and grabs Ulquiorra round the ankles* NOOOO, NOT MR. PINKY!! HE DRIVES ALL THE BEDROOM MONSTERS AWAY!!

Ulquiorra: *smiles smugly* So you'll do the parody?

Staark: Yes!! Anything you want—just don't take him away!!

Ulquiorra: Good, now get to it.

*Suddenly, Aizen pops up on a screen nearby*

Aizen: HAI GUYS!!!

Ulquiorra: *groans* Oh no...Gin fed you the crack candy again, didn't he?

Aizen: PONIES!!!

Ulquiorra: I'll take that as a 'yes'.

Aizen: OMG GUES WHAT! THE PARODY'S OVER NOW—NEXT PAIR'S UP!! WEE!!

Ulquiorra: Wait, WHAT?! But we haven't even started!

Aizen: TOO BAD! *twirls* NEXT IS YOU AND GRIMMY-KINS!

Ulquiorra:...'Grimmy-kins'?

Aizen: YUP! MY ADORABLE FLUFFY BED-MUNCHKIN!! HE'S SO CUTE, I JUST WANT TO PET HIS LITTLE BOTTOM AND SQUEEZE HIS CHEEKS!!

Staark: O.O;;...Laters, I'm gonna wake up...and go be sick somewhere...

*he vanishes, leaving Ulquiorra and Aizen in Staark's dream space*

Ulquiorra: *smirking* Heh...I'm so glad my left eye has wireless connection to SS News and Hueco Mundo TV...I'm gonna make a fortune from this madness...

Aizen: *throwing petals and crack in the air around him* WHAT WAS THAT EMO-KINS?

Ulquiorra: *stares innocently* Oh, nothing sir...Absolutely nothing...

*chuckling evilly, Ulquiorra exits Staark's dream space with what little male dignity he has left despite wearing a pair of fairy wings, pink frock, and holding a potentially-lethal magic wand*


TO BE CONTINUED XD
The Espada (c) and Aizen (c) belong to Tite Kubo

Admittedly, this is probably one of the least funny parodies I've done...but I can't think of much to do with Staark ^^;

Ulqui's gonna be in every Parody dedicated to individual Espada, by the way. He just makes things more fun XD
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsynysterdemonicrose:
SynysterDemonicRose Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love Starrk! :iconbigheartplz:
Reply
:iconcollettey:
Collettey Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my gawd...
THIS WAS HILARIOUS!
I really like the part where Starrk was begging Ulqui not to destroy his teddy bear. :beg:
Reply
:iconxxkimi-sanxx:
XxKimi-SanxX Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"Starrk: *shoots up like a bullet and grabs Ulquiorra round the ankles* NOOOO, NOT MR. PINKY!! HE DRIVES ALL THE BEDROOM MONSTERS AWAY!!"
Reply
:iconnightmarekittykat:
NightMareKittyKat Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
O.o should i be scared? lolz nice job on this!
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconnightmarekittykat:
NightMareKittyKat Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yer welcome :)
Reply
:iconburnt-rose-pedals:
Burnt-Rose-Pedals Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ulquiorra: I'll cut you! XD PONIES!!!
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Student Writer
XD
Reply
:iconmaia61:
Maia61 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011
i want a wand
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Student Writer
LOL XD
Reply
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