Scene 1: Ulquiorra vs Ichigo (round 2)
Ulqui: *draws his sword, with a demonic voice* BACK OFF, BITCH, SHE'S MINE!!
Ichigo: Seriously, dude, ever heard of happy pills?
Ulqui: No, but I've heard of weed. Now that's one hell of a drug. I would know.
Ichigo: Looks like it had the emo effect on ya.
Ulqui: No shit, Sherlock.
Scene 2: Ulqui visits Orihime.
Ulqui: *dramatically* I AM MAKING MY GRAND ENTRANCE! BEHOLD MY SEXY GOODNESS! LOOK AT IT!! LOOK AT IIIIITT!!! YOU LIKE IT, DON'T YOU? YEAH, DAMN RIGHT! Guess whatYOU CAN'T HAVE IT!! HA!!!
Orihime: O.O;...I miss the zombie Ulqui...
Scene 3: Nnoitra talks to Ulqui (again).
Ulqui: Dude, seriously, don't you have anything better to do with your time?
Nnoitra: No. Why the hell else would I be wasting it talking to you?
Nnoitra: Thank you!
Scene 4: Mayuri vs Szayel.
Mayuri:...and the pain will last you a thousand years even though in reality it only takes up about one second of our worthless lives! Enjoy!
Szayel: *for a thousand years* FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Scene 5: Grimmjow appears as Orihime is being beaten up by two Arrancar girls with an Aizen fetish.
Grimmjow: Yo, bitches, how's yer sex life? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgotYA DON'T HAVE ONE CUZ YER TWO UNLIKABLE BITCHES!
Loli+Menoly: OMG WE'RE SO WEAK AND INAFFECTUAL BUT WE'RE GONNA ATTACK YOU ANYWAYZ, HAA!! *they attack*
Grimmjow: *ceros them both*
Grimmjow: Bleach has no room for hoes.
Scene 6: Aizen finally hauls his toffee ass to the Espada meeting.
Aizen:*all happy and chibi as rainbows and unicorns looking suspiciously like Gin and Tousen explode in a shower of love hearts behind him* HI GAIZ!!!
Espada: O.O; Holy shit, he's been at the weed big time...
Aizen:*in the same happy voice* IMMA GONNA SING YOU THE 'HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY' SONG!! EVERYONE SING ALONG OR I RIP OUT YOUR TONGUES AND FEED IT TO YOUZ! YAAAY! *twirls*
Espada: Kill us now. Please. Someone.
Narrator: Having been forced to recite the infamous 'Happy Happy Joy Joy' song about a hundred times over, all members of the Espada were mentally traumatised for the rest of their miserable lives. The End ^^.
Scene 7: Zommari vs ByakuyaYo Momma.
Zommari: Yo momma's so ugleh that when she went to the butchers and asked for shit meat they cut off her head!
Byakuya: Your mother is so ugly that when my mother met your mother my mother asked: 'Who's dog is this?'
Zommari: *gasp* OH NO YOU DI'INT!
Byakuya: Oh yes I did.
Zommari: Oh NO you DI'INT!!!
Byakuya: Yes. I did.
Zommari: OH NO
Byakuya: YES I F*CKIN DID MUTHERF*CKER SHIT DAYAAAM WHAT WRONG WITCHOO?!!!
Byakuya: *falls to his knees in shame* Oh my God...WHAT HAVE I BECOME?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Scene 8: Barragan enters the battle with the Shinigami.
Barragan: *wakes up* Hm? Wha? Where am I? Who are you people?! PUDDING!!! NACHOES!! PORN!! F*CK MEXICO!!!!
Barragan's Fraccion:...Seriously, what were we thinking when we chose him to be our leader?
Scene 9: Harribel vs Hitsugaya.
Harribel: Hey there, wanna see my tits?
Hitsugaya: Uh, no, that's not
Harribel: Aw, c'mon, don't be such a wet snowflake!
Harribel: They're big, y'know!
Hitsugaya: ....How big?
Momo: *smacks him* CHEATER!!!
Hitsugaya: WTF, WE WEREN'T EVEN DATING!
Momo: Well according to the fanbase we were!! *attacks him*
Hitsugaya: SAVE ME BOOB LADY!! SAVE ME WITH YOUR CLEAVAGE!! AAAAAHHH!!!!
Harribel: *watching* Heh. Even the coldest of men are suckers for huge Gazongas.
Scene 10: Ulqui Kidnaps Orihime.
Ulqui: *deadpan* Hey there. Check out my Dramatic Entrance Number One. *does a victory motion with his hands*. Go me. Go me. It's my birthday.
Orihime: *to the two Shinigami guides* OMG I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO OR IF YOU BOTH GET KILLED JUST DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME!!!
Szayel, one hundred years later.