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Scene 1: Nnoitra vs. Grimmjow—the fight that lasted about five seconds and caused an uproar among Grimmy fans the world over! (dedicated to :iconniamhyzart:)

Grimmjow: *is hit by Nnoitra's pretzel-shaped 'sword'* F*CK, I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN'!

Nnoitra: Well I did, and so did the guy who made it happen! *cackles*

Grimmjow: *on the floor* WTF, WHY?! I'M HOTTER THAN YOU!!! HOT CHARACTERS ARE FAVOURED OVER THE UGLY CHARACTERS! THE UGLY  CHARACTERS GET KILLED OFF! YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE LYIN' HERE GETTIN' SAND IN YA HAIR, NOT ME!!

Nnoitra: Well BLEACH screws that rule over, kicks it and shits on it simultaneously. Kubo let the plotbunnies he had goin' for ya die a sudden and unexplained death. And by the way, I'd be more worried about bleedin' to death than gettin' sand in ya hair.

Grimmjow: NOT IF YOU HAD BADASS HAIR LIKE MINE YOU WOULDN'T!!!

Nnoitra: How the hell do you get ya hair like that anyway?

Grimmjow: L'ORIEL! BECAUSE I'M F*CKIN' WORTH IT!!

*awkward silence while everyone present tries to figure out how Grimmjow knew about human hair products or this particular one's catchphrase. They give up.*

Nnoitra: ...Well not anymore! HA!!


Scene 2:  Espada Quotes of the Week (as recorded by Gin).

Nnoitra: Women—the bane of my—our existence.

Grimmjow: Life is a bitch. You sleep with it occasionally, and just as you're feelin' like nothing could get better, it slaps you round the face with a huge wet cod the size of Aizen's ego.

Harribel: I did not get a boob job—honestly, what gave you that impression?

Barragan: DAISIES LIKE POP MUSIC!!!

Starrk: zzz....PICKLES...zzz....my fave wolf...is called...Ro-Ro....zzz....

Szayel: I'm NOT GAY—I JUST HAVE A VERY SMALL D*CK!

Nnoitra: *to Nelliel* It's not STALKING, it's OBSERVATION!!

Ulqui: *while eating marshmallows spiked by Gin* Hmm...shattered dreams and despair...Ulqui likey.

Grimmjow: *to Orihime* STOP SAYING 'KUROSAKI-KUN!' IT STOPPED BEING FUNNY ABOUT 400 EPISODES AGO!!

Ulqui: Make another L reference and I'll kick you...oh my god, someone get my happy pills...

Yammy: PUPPIES ARE CUTE!!

Grimmjow: Dogs—the manifestation of pure evil.


Scene 3: Nnoitra talks to Ulquiorra (jeez, haven't they talked enough?? XD

Nnoitra: *grinning freakishly Yo, Giggles!

Ulqui: *sigh* Yo.

Nnoitra: HHHHHHHHow's it goin'?

Ulqui: Uh...fine...I guess.

Nnoitra: WWWWWWWhatcha dooooin'?

Ulqui: Uh...going to the bathroom?

Nnoitra: GREAT!

*Silence. They stare. Nnoitra grinning, Ulqui very confused.*

Ulqui:...What happened?

Nnoitra: I JUST GOT MY FIRST BONER!!! WOO! *pumps fists in the air*

Ulqui:...This is precisely why no one likes you.

Nnoitra: WTF?!

Ulqui: It is to be expected. After all, your face practically screams 'potential rapist'.

Nnoitra: WTF??!!! O.O;;

Ulqui: Correction. It actually screams 'so a full-blown rapist'.

Nnoitra: *stunned*


Scene 4: The Espada discuss politics.

Ulqui: Politics is nothing but trash filled with trashy people.

All: HEAR HEAR! GO EMO-CLOWN!

Ulqui: 'Emo-clown'...?

Grimmjow: If it were up to me, I'd kill em all and replace them with yours truly! My muscular ass was MADE for a throne!!

Barragan: HOW DARE YOU, I'M THE KING!! THE THRONE WAS MADE FOR MY ASS!

Grimmjow: OH YEAH? THEN WHY DO YOUR FRACCION ALWAYS HAVE TO PULL YOU OUTTA IT EVERY MORNING? BECAUSE YER CRATERED ASS IS TOO FRICKIN BIG!!

Nnoitra: I like big butts.

All: O.O;;

Nnoitra: ON WOMEN, IDIOTS!!

Yammy: Duuuh...What's politics?

All: Get out. Just get out.

*Yammy leaves*

Szayel: I think I would make a perfect leader!

Grimmjow: Oh sure. Lemme guess what your one policy would be. 'Death to all but gays!'.

Szayel: YES!

All: O.O;; Thinking: *that guy is never being promoted*.


Scene 5: Ulqui talks to Orihime.

Orihime: WAH, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!

Ulquiorra: Oh, at least half an hour.
*silence*

*Orihime runs towards him*

Ulqui: Oh sh—

*SLAP*


Scene 6: Grimmjow enters Orihime's room by blowing a hole about five inches from the actual door.

Grimmjow: I'm too badass to use doors.


Scene 7: Ichigo attacks Ulquiorra

Ichigo: YOU BASTARD!! DO YOU REALISE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!!

Ulqui: That's what she said.


Scene 8: Szayel vs Renji+Ishida.

Szayel: *grooving* YMCA!!! DA DA DA DA DA-DA—YMCA!!!

Ishida:...Bleach is so f*cked now.


Scene 9: Discussing Luppi.

Szayel: So totally gay.

Yammy: Too white.

Nnoitra: He made me ashamed to be a guy.

Grimmjow: You know what I think of him, I killed the f*ckin' freak!!

Harribel: *shrugs*

Starrk: Kid made good pillows...

Aaronerrio: He...called me....KETTLE!

All: But we do that anyway!

Aaronerrio: Yes, but his voice made it sound worse!

All:  -_-;

Ulquiorra: Too trashy for Bleach to handle.
Hopefully this is way funnier than the last one :D

All characters mentioned above belong to Tite Kubo.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnitrofires-revenge:
Nitrofires-Revenge Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Poor Nnoitra- when he pulls that creepy grin he scares off all the girls
Reply
:iconburnt-rose-pedals:
Burnt-Rose-Pedals Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Someone give Ulquiorra his freakin's happy pills! I want to see him do this: [link]
Reply
:iconiron-donut:
Iron-Donut Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lol i wanna see that happen
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Student Writer
LMAO XDD YES!!
Reply
:iconarouraheart:
ArouraHeart Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I thought Luppi was adorable X3
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Student Writer
Yeah...too bad he was only a filler character...
Reply
:iconarouraheart:
ArouraHeart Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
After watching something on Youtube, i got mad at Grimmjow but then was saddened by Grimms death sooo, I got confused. O___O I wish Luppi was at least included in Killing Aizen or some wear towards the end =|
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Student Writer
LOl, now that would have been epic XD

Luppi: THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR TWO SEXUALLY AMBIGIOUS MEN ON THIS SHOW!!! *owns Aizen*

Aizen: NOOOOOOOO, MADONNAAAAAAA!!!

Everyone: Wtf?? O.O;;
Reply
:iconarouraheart:
ArouraHeart Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Me-Really, Aizen, Modona? XDD
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2011  Student Writer
LOL XD
Reply
:iconarouraheart:
ArouraHeart Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
XDD
Reply
:iconarouraheart:
ArouraHeart Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
*Slaps Szayel, Nnoitra, Grimmjow,Yammy,and Aaronrio, then hesitates but slaps Ulquiorra*Nothing was wrong with Tranny-chaan! He was perfect!>w<
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Student Writer
LOL XD
Reply
:iconraventheshinigami7:
RavenTheShinigami7 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Life is a bitch. You sleep with it occasionally, and just as you're feelin' like nothing could get better, it slaps you round the face with a huge wet cod the size of Aizen's ego.

hahaha this is the new quote of the century
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you!! XD
Reply
:iconraventheshinigami7:
RavenTheShinigami7 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
of course :huggle:
Reply
:iconginger-love:
Ginger-love Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
awesome^^
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconginger-love:
Ginger-love Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem^^
Reply
:iconaikashimizu12:
AikaShimizu12 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
WOW. scene 5 was hilarious!
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconchitalianese:
ChItalianese Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Hobbyist
Hahhaha oh god, this was hilarious! Ulqui's lines made me just about pee my pants laughing. hahaha
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconakatspada1:
akatspada1 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
Lol the politics talk killed me XD
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
Oh dear *revives*!! XD Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconveertje-feather:
veertje-feather Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm actually still laughing about Grimmkitty XD
He is way too badass for doors, and he is worth it :iconmonkeylaughplz:
actually...
when I read that, I thought: "YEAH! HE'S WORTH IT!"
but then my sister screamed back... so I think I said it out loud XD
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
:lol: XD Thanks ^^
Reply
:iconmagnolia-belle:
Magnolia-Belle Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
:rofl: i loved the L'oreal one!!! and yess, grimmjow is soooo too badass for those doors!!! btw, you're thing in the last one "Shattered hopes and dreams in marshmallow form. yummy" is now my signature on skype :D
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
:lmao: Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconblack-richa:
Black-Richa Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
When I see funny stuff online, I never laugh out loud for real, I suppress the laughter usually (there are people around) but when I read Grimmjow say "L'OREAL, BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT!" I actually giggled out loud. It was quick and low, but it happened. Good job! :clap: You made a giggle escape my mouth!! :worship:

Hmm... shattered dreams and despair :D that is now etched into my mind~

Nnoitra does look like a rapist, and Grimmjow is too badass for doors :iconspartaplz:

huuuuu.... That was CRACK-tacular :lmao: :rofl:
:icononionxdplz:
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks a lot, as always! :hug: YAYZ, I MADE YOU GIGGLE! XD
Reply
:iconblack-richa:
Black-Richa Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
You're welcome! :nod:
It was CRACK-tastic as always :excited:
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconblack-richa:
Black-Richa Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
:hug:
Reply
:iconjk-madferit:
JK-madferit Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Your best one... :XD:
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconniamhyzart:
niamhyzart Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
Thankyou for dedicating the first one to me!! :iconhappycryplz: As usual, I loved it!
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
No probs! Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconniamhyzart:
niamhyzart Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
:iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:iconsenbonzakura77:
Senbonzakura77 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA IT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!! I'm sorry but I have to go over my favourite lines :D
1. "Grimmjow: L'ORIEL! BECAUSE I'M F*CKIN' WORTH IT!!"
2. "Ulqui: Make another L reference and I'll kick you...oh my god, someone get my happy pills..."
3. "Ulqui: That's what she said"
4. "Ulqui: Correction. It actually screams 'so a full-blown rapist'"

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha :iconmonkeylaughplz: Totally made my day xD
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you!! Ulqui, Grimmy and Nnoitra get the best lines XD
Reply
:iconsenbonzakura77:
Senbonzakura77 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ahahahahaha yeah xD
Reply
:iconsigery97:
Sigery97 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with all of Grimmjow's quotes from scene 2 and these seem to be getting funnier and funnier and I love you...Scene 5 and 6 and 7 XD I have to agree with scene 9...thou I still love that guy


Grimmjow and Ulquiorra are awesome =D
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
Aww, thank you! :D
Reply
:iconsigery97:
Sigery97 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome
Reply
:iconarcticwolfspirit:
ArcticWolfSpirit Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
This is..so awesome!!!! Nnoirtra had to be the best (scene 3) and scene 2... Im looking forward to the next one!!! :D
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you!! :D
Reply
:iconarcticwolfspirit:
ArcticWolfSpirit Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
no problem!!! :D
Reply
:iconkujafangirl2:
kujafangirl2 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
:love: These keep gettin' funnier and funnier!!! XD
Kari: :la: Funny espada! :la:
Reply
:iconfrostysnowman94:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you! :hug:
Reply
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BLEACH GRIMMY by 001-1815

Writing by shuameyuki




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