ESPADA Anime Scenes PARODY 6

Scene 1: Nnoitra vs. Grimmjow—the fight that lasted about five seconds and caused an uproar among Grimmy fans the world over! (dedicated to )

Grimmjow: *is hit by Nnoitra's pretzel-shaped 'sword'* F*CK, I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN'!

Nnoitra: Well I did, and so did the guy who made it happen! *cackles*

Grimmjow: *on the floor* WTF, WHY?! I'M HOTTER THAN YOU!!! HOT CHARACTERS ARE FAVOURED OVER THE UGLY CHARACTERS! THE UGLY  CHARACTERS GET KILLED OFF! YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE LYIN' HERE GETTIN' SAND IN YA HAIR, NOT ME!!

Nnoitra: Well BLEACH screws that rule over, kicks it and shits on it simultaneously. Kubo let the plotbunnies he had goin' for ya die a sudden and unexplained death. And by the way, I'd be more worried about bleedin' to death than gettin' sand in ya hair.

Grimmjow: NOT IF YOU HAD BADASS HAIR LIKE MINE YOU WOULDN'T!!!

Nnoitra: How the hell do you get ya hair like that anyway?

Grimmjow: L'ORIEL! BECAUSE I'M F*CKIN' WORTH IT!!

*awkward silence while everyone present tries to figure out how Grimmjow knew about human hair products or this particular one's catchphrase. They give up.*

Nnoitra: ...Well not anymore! HA!!


Scene 2:  Espada Quotes of the Week (as recorded by Gin).

Nnoitra: Women—the bane of my—our existence.

Grimmjow: Life is a bitch. You sleep with it occasionally, and just as you're feelin' like nothing could get better, it slaps you round the face with a huge wet cod the size of Aizen's ego.

Harribel: I did not get a boob job—honestly, what gave you that impression?

Barragan: DAISIES LIKE POP MUSIC!!!

Starrk: zzz....PICKLES...zzz....my fave wolf...is called...Ro-Ro....zzz....

Szayel: I'm NOT GAY—I JUST HAVE A VERY SMALL D*CK!

Nnoitra: *to Nelliel* It's not STALKING, it's OBSERVATION!!

Ulqui: *while eating marshmallows spiked by Gin* Hmm...shattered dreams and despair...Ulqui likey.

Grimmjow: *to Orihime* STOP SAYING 'KUROSAKI-KUN!' IT STOPPED BEING FUNNY ABOUT 400 EPISODES AGO!!

Ulqui: Make another L reference and I'll kick you...oh my god, someone get my happy pills...

Yammy: PUPPIES ARE CUTE!!

Grimmjow: Dogs—the manifestation of pure evil.


Scene 3: Nnoitra talks to Ulquiorra (jeez, haven't they talked enough?? XD

Nnoitra: *grinning freakishly Yo, Giggles!

Ulqui: *sigh* Yo.

Nnoitra: HHHHHHHHow's it goin'?

Ulqui: Uh...fine...I guess.

Nnoitra: WWWWWWWhatcha dooooin'?

Ulqui: Uh...going to the bathroom?

Nnoitra: GREAT!

*Silence. They stare. Nnoitra grinning, Ulqui very confused.*

Ulqui:...What happened?

Nnoitra: I JUST GOT MY FIRST BONER!!! WOO! *pumps fists in the air*

Ulqui:...This is precisely why no one likes you.

Nnoitra: WTF?!

Ulqui: It is to be expected. After all, your face practically screams 'potential rapist'.

Nnoitra: WTF??!!! O.O;;

Ulqui: Correction. It actually screams 'so a full-blown rapist'.

Nnoitra: *stunned*


Scene 4: The Espada discuss politics.

Ulqui: Politics is nothing but trash filled with trashy people.

All: HEAR HEAR! GO EMO-CLOWN!

Ulqui: 'Emo-clown'...?

Grimmjow: If it were up to me, I'd kill em all and replace them with yours truly! My muscular ass was MADE for a throne!!

Barragan: HOW DARE YOU, I'M THE KING!! THE THRONE WAS MADE FOR MY ASS!

Grimmjow: OH YEAH? THEN WHY DO YOUR FRACCION ALWAYS HAVE TO PULL YOU OUTTA IT EVERY MORNING? BECAUSE YER CRATERED ASS IS TOO FRICKIN BIG!!

Nnoitra: I like big butts.

All: O.O;;

Nnoitra: ON WOMEN, IDIOTS!!

Yammy: Duuuh...What's politics?

All: Get out. Just get out.

*Yammy leaves*

Szayel: I think I would make a perfect leader!

Grimmjow: Oh sure. Lemme guess what your one policy would be. 'Death to all but gays!'.

Szayel: YES!

All: O.O;; Thinking: *that guy is never being promoted*.


Scene 5: Ulqui talks to Orihime.

Orihime: WAH, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!

Ulquiorra: Oh, at least half an hour.
*silence*

*Orihime runs towards him*

Ulqui: Oh sh—

*SLAP*


Scene 6: Grimmjow enters Orihime's room by blowing a hole about five inches from the actual door.

Grimmjow: I'm too badass to use doors.


Scene 7: Ichigo attacks Ulquiorra

Ichigo: YOU BASTARD!! DO YOU REALISE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!!

Ulqui: That's what she said.


Scene 8: Szayel vs Renji+Ishida.

Szayel: *grooving* YMCA!!! DA DA DA DA DA-DA—YMCA!!!

Ishida:...Bleach is so f*cked now.


Scene 9: Discussing Luppi.

Szayel: So totally gay.

Yammy: Too white.

Nnoitra: He made me ashamed to be a guy.

Grimmjow: You know what I think of him, I killed the f*ckin' freak!!

Harribel: *shrugs*

Starrk: Kid made good pillows...

Aaronerrio: He...called me....KETTLE!

All: But we do that anyway!

Aaronerrio: Yes, but his voice made it sound worse!

All:  -_-;

Ulquiorra: Too trashy for Bleach to handle.