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BLEACH GRIMMY by 001-1815

Bleach by Black-Richa


Submitted on
July 2, 2011
File Size
5.1 KB


48 (who?)
Scene 1: If the Espada hosted documentaries...

Ulquiorra: God—does he truly exist?...No he doesn't. Goodnight. *walks off*

Nnoitra: *walking in the desert in Hueco Mundo* And it was here, several months ago, that as me and Nelliel faced off for Round 2... Nelliel...shat herself.

Grimmjow: Cats—are they truly badass? F*CK YES, GOODNIGHT!!

Szayel: 12:30 pm. Aizen does not expect the pleasant surprise of finding me in his bedroom butt-naked and tied to his bedposts...

Harribel: In today's episode of 'WOMEN TODAY',  I will reveal the latest women's poll, in which they were asked: "Are men worth it?" ....99.9% said 'F*ck no!' and a very sad 1% said 'yes'. May God have mercy on her soul.

Scene 2: Yammy battles Yoriuchi and Uruhara in his and Ulqui's debut.

*Yammy is owned*

Ulquiorra: *thinking* *sigh* If you want something done properly, kill Yammy before you start.

Scene 3: Things you would never hear the Espada say...

Grimmjow: Hey, Kurosaki, would you like to go to lunch with me?



Nelliel: Nnoitra, your ways are childish and an insult to the Espada...AND I SO RESPECT YOU FOR THAT!! *glomps him*

Yammy: Did you know, Ulquiorra, that the Espada's traditional dress dates back to the 14th century? The name 'hakama'—our lower garment covering us from the hip down—originates from the word...

Szayel: Imma gonna go out and f*ck a woman!

Zommari: F*CK YOU, AIZEN!!!

Starrk: *to Lillynette* Holy sh*t I'm so high right now!!! Let's go run round some more!!

AA: Kuchiki, let's get married like the fans want us too!!

Barragan: I think I wet myself...

Ulquiorra:  I'M SO FRICKIN' HAPPY RIGHT NOW!! *dances around the room with Orihime*

Scene 4: Ulquiorra faces off with Ichigo (round 2).

Ulqui: I have been ordered by Aizen-sama to keep this girl here. I will not kill her unless ordered to.

Ichigo: Hang on, you were listening when Aizen SPECIFICALLY SAID: "The girl is useless to us now, come and take her back"?

Ulqui:...Your point?

Ichigo: 'My point'?! You just contradicted yourself in the space of ONE SENTANCE! You're holding a hostage that your leader said could be taken away—therefore, you don't seem to want me to take her away! MEANING: ULQUIHIME.IS.CANON!!!! YOU GAVE YOURSELF AWAY! HA!!

Ulqui:...May I be permitted to voice a short, violent exclamation?

Ichigo: Uh...sure?

Ulqui: DAMN!!!!

Scene 5: Aizen delivers some bad news...

Aizen: Greetings, Espada...I'm afraid I have terrible news to report to you...

*The Espada tense*

Aizen:...and that is...

*More tension...*

Aizen: We' out of tea.

*Espada: DUN DUN—wait, WHAT?*

Espada: *deadpan* Uh...right.  Oh dear. Such a will we ever recover from this tragic loss...?

Ulquiorra: Aizen-sama, may I be excused for a moment?

Aizen: Certainly.

Ulquiorra: *walks out*

*a few minutes later, the cry of a man in agony is heard*

Ulquiorra: OH GOD, NO!!!!!

Scene 5: Grimmjow saves Orihime for the Loli and Menoli

Grimmjow: *grabs Orihime by the neck* Right, I saved your pretty ass—NOW GIVE ME THE YARN YOU PROMISED!!

Scene 6: Nnoitra looks at Orihime. And by Orihime, I mean her ginormous boobs.

Nnoitra: Mmm...tittie buns...

Tesla: *staring at Nnoitra like he does for 99% of his appearances* Omg, I just love it when Nnoitra-sama pervs like that!...

*in the flashback, Nelliel leaves a beaten Nnoitra*

Tesla: *Omg, I just love it when Nnoitra-sama spews blood like that...!*

Scene 7: Aaroneirro vs. Rukia.

Rukia: What have you done with Kaien-dono?!

AA: Oh yeah, he tasted great!

Rukia: What?! What about Orihime?!

AA: She also tasted great!

Rukia: *owns his bubbly ass*

Scene 8: If the Espada were to do their own TV show, it would be named...

--Ulquiorra's 'Why-Cut-Yourself-When-You-Can-Angst-With-Me? show.'

--Grimmjow's 'F*ck Physics—Get Great Hair Like Mine!!'

--Harribel's 'How to feel comfortable with boobs the size of California'.

--Aaroneirro's 'How I survive in a Kitchen Product'.

--Yammy's 'Rap with the Master!!'

--Zommari's 'Meditation for Dummies.'

--Nnoitra's 'Loose Men'.

--Szayel's 'How I Came Out and Got On With It'

--Starrk's 'How to Nap Through Life's Trials and Tribulations'.
None of the Espada (c) or Shinigami mentioned above belong to me--they belong to Tite Kubo :D
Add a Comment:
Painmistress Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so hilarious!
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :hug:
Painmistress Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!Also if I could dance, I would dance with Ulqui!
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Student Writer
Who wouldn't?! :D Not even Grimmjow fans would pass up the chance! XD
Burnt-Rose-Pedals Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
[link] and [link] I could pick which one XD
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Student Writer
:rofl: XD OMG LOL XD
Burnt-Rose-Pedals Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There's another thing you won't ever catch Ulquiorra saying: I'm a Banana :iconpeanutbutterjellyplz:
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011  Student Writer
Meap4U Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
--Ulquiorra's 'Why-Cut-Yourself-When-You-Can-Angst-With-Me? show.'

--Grimmjow's 'F*ck Physics%u2014Get Great Hair Like Mine!!'

--Harribel's 'How to feel comfortable with boobs the size of California'.

How do you do it?! LOL!!!
frostysnowman94 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011  Student Writer retarded mind?! XD Thank you so much for all the faves!! :love:
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