ESPADA Anime Scenes PARODY 2

Scene 1: Ulqui and Nnoitra talk (remake).


Nnoitra: Hey. How nice of you to come and see me!

Ulquiorra: But I didn't intend to--

Nnoitra: It seems Pet-sama's breasts've gotten a lot bigger!

Ulquiorra: *flushes inwardly* Please don't talk about those.

Nnoitra: WHAT, HER BOOBS?

Ulqui: Yes. Those.

Nnoitra: Ok, so just to be clear, I'm definately NOT supposed to bring up her double wammies? Her melons are off the table! Hooters are a no-go area! Ixnay on the eveageclay!! *lol, pig latin*.

Ulqui: *staring*...Are you done?

Nnoitra: Yes. So, how was it?

Ulqui: It was fi--

Nnoitra: TITTIES!!!!

Ulqui: ...

*ceros Nnoitra and walks away*

Ulqui:....Jackal (damn Viz translations XD)


Scene 2: The old Shinigami guy vs Tia Harribel.

Harribel: You shall pay for--

Old Man: MAH MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD, AND THEIR LIKE, 'IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS', DAMN RIGHT, ITS BETTER THAN YOURS! I CAN TEACH YOU, BUT I HAVE TO CHARGE--

Harribel: *ceros him*

...

Harribel:...Old men are the worst men. Their hormones just don't know when to quit.


Scene 3(Made Up): The Espada watch teasers of the Fullbring Arc.

All: ...O.O;;;

Ulqui: 'Fullbring'? More like 'Full of Shit'. (Quote coutesy of
ripvanwinkle.deviantart.com/ar…)

All: Hear hear!!

Nnoitra: So...I'm definately not in this, am I?

Ulqui: Do you see your skinny white ass anywhere? No. So there.

Nnoitra: BASTARDS! I'M INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT!!! BLEACH ISN'T BLEACH WITHOUT ME!!

Grimmjow: Hey, f*ck you, at least YOU didn't just get one panel of shit before being literally chucked into the Might-As-Well-Not-Have-Entered-The-Plot garbage can!!

Nnoitra: *grins* True. My 'death' scene was badassery incarnate!

Nel: I doubt that.

Nnoi: OH YOU WOULD, WOULDN'T YOU? HEY, WHO STRIPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT? WHOSE VAGINA WAS THROWN AT EVERYONE'S FACES DURING OUR BATTLE? WHOSE BOOBS WERE THE SIZE OF SPACE HOPPERS? HUH? HUH?!

*Nel leaves in shame*

Nnoitra: *triumphant* DIDN'T THINK SO!!

Ulqui: Actually, my 'death' was the most badass here. AND moving. AND gold for the Ulquihime fans.

AA (Hueco Mundo's most reliable car breakdown service--I mean, Aaroneirro): True--just look at  MY death scene. Shit, that was awful. *Sniff* My creator hates me...now I'm stuck in hell with that POOFBAG Szayel...WAAAH!

Harribel: It's not just Kubo. We hate you as well.

AA: WAAAAAAAAH!!!

Szayel: WHO'RE YOU CALLING A POOFBAG, KETTLE-FREAK?! BITCH-FIGHT!!

*they bitch-fight*

Grimmjow: Hang on, if you're in hell, why're you here watching teasers for the next shit-ass filler arc?

AA+Szayel: *pausing in mid-bitch-slap* Uh...F*CK YOU!! *they disappear*

Grimmjow: Lol. What a pair of noobs.

Ulqui: Where on earth did you get that expression?

Grimmjow: CALL OF DUTY PS3 FTW!!!

Yammy+Zommari *appearing randomly*: HELL YEAH MUTHERF*CKER SHIT DAYAAAAM TITTIE SUGAR!!!

Ulqui: ...That explains so much.


Scene 4:Nnoitra vs Ichigo.

Nnoitra: Before we kick ass, lemme give ya a piece of advice.

Ichigo: What?

Nnoitra: There're two types of women in Hueco Mundo--Whores and prostitutes.

Ichigo:...What's the difference?

Nnoitra: *grins* The whores are less willing than the prostitutes.

Ichigo: You're a dick, y'know that?

Nnoitra: Ha, yeah, I know!


Scene 5: Barragan vs Soi Fong etc.

Barragan: You kids these days and your Bleach and your orange hair and your ninjas and your so-not-sexual releases and your bald people and your kung fu and your spells and your midgets and your seedy organisations and your kettles and your racism and your poems and your artificial insemination and your fanfiction and your yaoi and your emos and your king-complexes and your bread and your star wars and your swords and your black blood censoring and your KUROSAKI-KUNS and your--

Starrk: Now you know why he died a few minutes later.


Scene 6: Szayel vs Mayuri.

Szayel: GAY RIGHTS!!!!!

Mayuri: ANTI-HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!!!

Uryuu: God, they're meant for each other...


Scene 7: Aizen vs Harribel.

Harribel: Aizen-sama, how could you?! What about my later appareances in the plot?!

Aizen: Quite frankly, my dear, I couldn't give a damn.


Yammy (in the shower).

Yammy: *singing* OH IMMA GUMMY BEAR, OH I'M A GUMMY BEARRRRR!!!

Grimmjow: *holding a microphone against the door, that's linked to the live Hueco Mundo Radio Station and SOUL SOCIETY FM* LOL, what a noob!